{ Breaking Free }
Do I feel that I've freed myself? 11:57 PM • Sunday, September 21, 2008
I still have qualms about it.
{ ......5th day in the Night Room }
I got the message from outside 11:18 PM • Friday, September 12, 2008
Telling me not to wait anymore
And so once again I move to hide
When I thought I was near to the door
Maybe it was really just one-sided
I'm always the naive one
That I couldn't see the obvious answer
And wait till I'm in deep enough to be hurt
For now it's back to square one again
I am spending the 5th day in my night room.
{ 2nd day in the Night Room }
Another day has gone past 9:55 PM • Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Time seems to pass so fast
I stand alone in the room
Gonna break down soon
Can anyone who's outside
Be my ultimate guide
And yet once again
I try to hide all my pain
As I smile in the dark
Like a happy lark
With this, I stand with eyes closed
While the nightmares rose
{ The Night Room is coming back }
It's becoming dark and cold 12:06 AM • Monday, September 08, 2008
As everything starts to unfold
I am back to square one again
Tears fall down like rain
History repeats itself once more
My eyes are indeed sore
Is there no other way out
The rest of the doors are all shut
I stand there alone
Shivering to the bone
Waiting for the right one to come
While I remain there being dumb
{ Placing the FOCUS differently }
So do I have the inspiration to write down stuff? Yes and no. Partly because I don't know what to write and yet I know there's something which is inside me waiting to be expressed. I am feeling very vulnerable now. Projects, homeworks, exams, degree, diploma, main comm, people. I have too many things on hand that I really don't know how to do about doing it. I am very very tired. Yet somehow I am not talking to my close friends about it. The only person in mind I wanna talk to is someone who I'm gonna love. But so far. Nothing is really happening. Maybe I'm just afraid of loneliness and want a companion that's all. 1:43 PM • Sunday, September 07, 2008
It's hard to get over certain stuff. I'm easily shaken. It's so confusing. I can't find the way back to myself. I am just going through the motion again and again everyday, not knowing what to expect from myself and from others.
A or B. Lol. It might not even happen at all. I am not strong as before. I feel really lousy. I can't be a good Ami at all to anyone. Je suis vraiment triste.
Dieu, s'il vous plaît m'aider.
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