{ Wahhh }
Omg. It's been a long time since I last updated. I'm just plain lazy. Well there are some things which are better to be kept private eh :) Ohhhhhh I got offered English in NTU and yeah that's the only course I can get my butt into. Bah. That means I have to bury my head into books for the next 4 years hoho. Hmmm, hope my interest in writing brings me somewhere =/ 11:50 PM • Sunday, June 03, 2007
I sort of feel sad today because today meant something but yet I couldn't enjoy it. Well, it's okay because something cropped up and no one can do anything about it anyway. Just that tinge of disappointment that's all. But I'm okay now I guess =) looking forward to a few days after today.
About today. For the past month, it has been warm and fuzzy. Nice =) I don't regret it. Who cares about what other people think. As long as I'm happy about it, nothing matters. Many more warm and fuzzy months to come!
Ever since November 2005, it has been one hell of a ride for me. I've been traumatised to feel anything. I feel insecure about everything. Takes a lot to break into me. 1 gone. 1 disappointed. Until the time came. At that point of time, it seemed unreal. I could only sit there thinking: Should I or should I not? I really didn't want to deliver any more disappointments. I kept thinking about it even though I made my choice. I kept sighing away every night. I was kept from the truth till I found out myself. But all that didn't matter because it's true. I can feel it. Sense it. Almost taste it. I don't want it to end. As time goes by, the feeling became stronger. And it feels as if I cannot detach myself from it anymore. If I am, I'd really fall into depression. Get wounded even deeper. And I will not believe in anything anymore. Period. I don't want all this to end. I'm serious. People tell me not to get too involved lest I get hurt. It always end up otherwise. So, please do not let it end.
Bah, getting too emo already. Can't help it due to the blow I had. I am really really afraid. I need reassurance. Those who don't know me will need to know me better. I'm not the kind who is always happy and laughing all the time. That's because I need to be like that. Anyways, the past posts all contain similar contents. So, nothing fresh again.
Gotta go sleep now. Free my mind of everything. I hope Josh doesn't come back again. He's a meanie -.-