twilight.♥

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10:22 PM • Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Happy Chinese New Year everyone. Hope you guys enjoyed your holidays. I did. =) But it's time to go back to reality again - NS. Sigh. Maybe Joy (not my sista) was right, I should be fine when I get out of army. But then again, that's not entirely it, there are other stuff as well. Josh has not been out for a week. Thanks to Maplestory lol. Made some friends there recently because I joined a guild. Most of the members are 20 and above. Nice people.

Have not been listening to songs; have not been downloading the latest songs; have not been doing anything much besides Maplestory and tuition. Will my life be like this for another year? I dare not even think about it. I just want it to get it over.

I really don't know what to type here. Goes to show how blank my mind is every week because most of my posts are just nothing but... you get the point. I really wish I get knocked down by a car so that I can stay at home for months.

I wanna be normal. I wanna go play a sport without worrying about anything. I love to play sports. I don't ever think I would be in choir if I am what i am. I would join basketball and track and field. I still miss hockey. I wanna play tennis.

Lol. What's the use of saying all this. As if I can have them all. Not in this life. I hope so in my next life. Life has been mean to me, it better repay me in my next life. Make me popular; make me hot; make me smart; make me a guy which every girl/guy/parent/friend want.

I am a coward. I just coop up in my room and log on here to type all this. I just can't be what I am now when I'm outside. I can swear that would be very scary. I really hope I can be though. It's so tiring to not be the 'me' now when I'm outside. And I don't freaking care if you think everyone has problems. This is my blog and I type anything I want. I LIKE to think my problems are the worst. That doesn't make a difference anyway. If only there's one person who can gimme the attention.

That would only be Josh. Time to summon him out now. Ta~

{ Heroes }

10:44 PM • Monday, February 05, 2007

I am so high, I can hear heaven
I am so high, I can hear heaven
Whoa, but heaven...no, heaven don't hear me

And they say
That a hero could save us
I'm not gonna stand here and wait
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles
Watch as we all fly away

Someone told me
Love would all save us
But, how can that be
Look what love gave us

A world full of killing
And blood spilling
That world never came

And they say
That a hero could save us
I'm not gonna stand here and wait
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles
Watch as we all fly away

Now that the world isn't ending
It's love that I'm sending to you
It isn't the love of a hero
And that's why I fear it won't do

And they say
That a hero could save us
I'm not gonna stand here and wait
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles
Watch as we all fly away

[Repeat 3x]
And they're watching us
They're watching us
As we all fly away

That's Hero by Chad Kroeger feat. Josey Scott, taken from the Spiderman soundtrack if I didn't remember wrongly. Lately, I've been watching this new TV serial called Heroes. And I downloaded the series, now it stopped at episode 13. Can't wait till the new downloads come! It'll only be episode 2 this coming wednesday haha. =x

Now what's the definition of a Hero? You tell me. Must it be someone with special powers? I'd love to agree with that, but a hero can be within you as well. Ok, but for now, I'd prefer to keep to the context of a hero having super powers. Hmm I'd love to be telekinetic. Oh and spontaneous regeneration as well. 'Save the cheerleader, Save the world' Haha I'm no cheerleader, just some bathroom singer =D
I wish to be someone special, someone who can make a difference to the world, someone who has the gift of excellence blah blah blah. Cliche, but who doesn't? There are some people who wishes to be normal. I don't.

Not in the sense of being who I am and it's even MORE not in the sense of having my condition. Sounds kinda crazy but I put a paper clip in front of me on the desk in my office and I tried to move it. Not with my hands, but with my mind. Of course it didn't work. Just something to keep me entertained. Doesn't hurt to try it anyway, who knows it might work -_-

It's certainly been a long time since I last updated. What can I say? Usual stuff. Tuitions and more tuitions. I'm beginning to feel my life is a bit mundane. I don't have to do all this and I really don't know what's my aim in doing so. Sometimes I feel as though I transform into another person at night. Just like Niki Sanders from Heroes. Split personality - but with superhuman strength. Of course I lack the latter.

Only two people know what I occasionally do when I'm either depressed/stressed/whatever. I still haven't stopped it yet. it's kinda hard to. that's why my forehead always look red? -_-

And those two people. One I've known for only a few months but not in contact anymore. The other I've known for only a year. Lol, weird.

The thing is, I only keep my other half till night comes. It just forces out of its own. I can't stop it. He says I'm weak and so he inputs more negative thoughts in me. He drains my energy slowly till I fall asleep and the next day I'm back to myself again. Good thing is, He's not like Niki, who's other half called Jessica, hurts people who hurts Niki. Jessica is her sister by the way, but she died. Oh I realised 'he' doesn't have a name -_- Let's call him.. Josh. The name just suddenly floated in my mind. God, I think he told me his name or something =_-

Ok I think I shall stop for now. Thepost is getting a bit long and draggy. Will continue tomorrow. Till then. Good night.