{ SaD and StresseD~ }
Good morning people, just met up with kokyong a few hours ago, lol he's like so cute!! With his shaved head and cap haha. Damn i'll be like him in few months time =( OMG that means i'll be even more uglier!! ahhhhhh...anyways it was nice listening to him talkin bout his experience in NS, although it was only 2 days ( i think) he sure had lots of things to say haha on one hand, it sounds fun but on the other, i'm kinda afraid of NS =S 2:10 AM • Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Sigh~ i'm feeling so sad and stressed not because of NS, well partly, but cos of this great passion i have in life: Singing. I just can't make it in singing. Why? Because i can't sing well, i look ugly, i don't have that x factor in me, all in all i dont have the looks of a star. Sucks totally. I still remember in AHS when i had my first solo in sec 1. I still remember all the singing competitions i took part in AHS and i never got 3rd and below. HAHA reasons are because the good singers don't even bother to compete, i'm like the best of the worse..maybe? Argh I can still clearly remember when i walked out of the audition place for singapore idol crying like no one's business. I was so depressed and sad that no words can ever describe it. I'm like such a failure, people had high hopes on me and i actually didn't even make it through the first round. What a joke. I always made it through auditions and i actually freaked out in singapore idol audition. same goes for Project Superstar. I didn't forget my lyrics, i sang my best, but still they gave me the red light. When i walked out of the room, i kept thinking to myself why can't i make it through the first round. NOT EVEN THROUGH THE FUKING FIRST ROUND. God I actually told myself not to take part in any of the singing competitions again. I think i should just face it yeah, i dont have what it takes to be a singer. I can't even pronounce proper chinese when singing, what more singing english songs when the market is so small?
I'm so naive and dumb and whatever sh1t. My results suck, i'm gonna fail my A levels. I don't have anything to back me up. SIGH. LOL and i'm still taking part in the TalentQuest organised by NUS, i'll probably make a laughing stock of myself this sunday. I better tell gladys to withdraw form the duet category cuz i know i'll be the reason we'll not go through the first round. Don't get your hopes too high on me also, I always screw up auditions now. I'm thinking of withdrawing now, why should i join since i don't think i can make it? Gosh i feel dumb. Really dumb. SOMEONE JUST FREAKING KILL ME! And Joy said : "you're always so excited to join, but when it comes to the real thing, you get cold feet." Yeah that's me alright, I suck big time. i'm like a coward. I'm like a piece of sh1t/waste/dung whatever. Argh i don't wanna type anymore, the more i type the more i feel lousy. Signing out now...good night.
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